What does "conscious relationship" mean?
Relationships are a major component of holistic health because they are one part of all parts of an integrated, whole, healthy life. Friendship. Family. Acquaintances. Intimate. Business. Creating conscious awareness within all of our relationships is key to summer lovin’ and successful lovin’ throughout the year.
What might we be pretending not to know about our relationships?
This is a considerable conversation. But at the most basic level, what are we ignoring? What are we shying away from? Will it make our relationships better to ignore what comes up? Or will it make our lives so much sweeter by taking the time to gain tools, techniques and tricks of the trade to navigate what arises?
When confrontation occurs, or another person triggers us, it is always an opportunity to step back, take a deep breath, take a good look at ourselves, and pause before responding. Take a few minutes to put ourselves in the other’s shoes considering their position as well as our own. Of course, this is often easier said than done. Especially in that moment when we become fired up before we even realize what is happening. But with a brand new toolset, it’s surprising how quickly we can transform and diffuse many of these moments. We can more easily move from highly reactive to open, spacious and rewarding. Within our most intimate relationships is where we will be most triggered. Contrary to popular belief, this is totally normal and an opportunity to learn.
One of the ways to gain perspective is to question:
Does the other person need to be right?
Or do they want peace?
Do I need to be right?
Or do I prefer peace?
Is this a topic worthy of fuss and fight?
Good chance that will negate 50% of silly stuff that comes up.
On the other hand, there is the 50% that will need time and attention.
If it seems a friend always wants “his way”, how can we take a look at this within ourselves? If a client insists on billing top dollar within her own business, but is unwilling to pay top dollar for another’s work, is it wise to continue this relationship? If one’s expectations of what will be received in a relationship are different from what is given, how can we place ourselves within the other’s perspective and decide from their point of view if what’s occurring is fair, just, or if it even makes sense? Perhaps a few places to begin in becoming more conscious within our relationships.
Relationships are one of the most complex elements of life.
It is important to be in them. It is equally important to spend time away from them. But within them is where we really get into the nitty gritty of our own shadows and truths. We can run, but without resolve, we will run right back into the same shadow around the next bend. We must cultivate being open and vulnerable within them. It’s imperative to realize when we shy away from them or are unable to make space from them and why. All of this may sound painfully obvious, but it’s funny how when we are “in it” it’s very hard to see our own blind spots. We all have ‘em. Taking even just small pockets of time to sit still for five minutes and take inventory could prevent an awful lot of drama. The amount of time and energy saved? Priceless.
A general rule of thumb is that it is safe to assume that both parties deeply desire a peaceful existence.
We can start by assuming that everyone is doing their best from exactly where they are today. This is only the beginning. Keeping this mindset in place is the gateway to more conscious ways of relating. It doesn’t mean we will get it right every time. It doesn’t mean we have to be nice and uplifting to every single human we encounter as there is no balance nor boundaries in that either. We might only get it right 50% of the time. And it’s all ok.
Blind spots. We all have ‘em. We can all take steps to build tool kits to evolve further into developing more conscious relationships. Talk to me if this speaks to you, too.
