Seek and Stay to Score Perfect Waves

Seekers - We Are Running Out of Time

Ever stop to notice that the endless seeking for something shiny, better, or new has only left you more lost than ever? Here's what’s likely happening.

We first world humans have a natural inclination to want more, be more, be better, and be perfect. When we encounter each new awakening of sorts, we might suddenly feel the need to run away and go on the now classic “journey”, seeking a way to "fix" ourselves. Welp. That will only get ya so far. The life of a seeker never ends. After a certain point, true magic transpires when we stay and face the waves breaking right in front of us. 

There is nothing wrong with us. We all have “stuff”.  

While important to seek resolutions to greater issues and ailments, we are not broken. What we are dealing with is simply the human condition. We all have this pesky “stuff”. And once we find one answer, there will always be another journey to arrive at the next answer. We all have pluses and minuses. We all mess up. No one is perfect. And time is a-wastin’.

Our generation has been fortunate to go on this journey of self-exploration. Even in the first world, most of our parents didn’t have this luxury. Expectations were to go to school, get married, and have kids in a time when the internet did not exist. Without easy access to information, life was simple as well as more challenging. Most people simply did not have the opportunity to indulge in self-discovery. 

Now we are now beginning to move past the information age. Today, many people are just beginning to “wake up”. We have evolved as a species. We have learned an awful lot about ourselves, our relationships, and how to grow and thrive in the world. We’ve learned how to make life better. 

But we are running out of time.

Without going into the insanity of what’s happening in the world today, if one has learned some things along the way, repaired and resolved the past as best as possible, there is good chance it’s time to step into action. Like, for real. This means, at bare minimum, an effort must be made to have actual conversations that need to be had, own what’s ours, and offer heartfelt apologies. There is no other way to repair and resolve. If we’ve at minimum attempted this whole shin-diggity-dang. Then awesome.

Side Note: This kind of stuff does not become resolved over text or email messages. There is not much neutralization of our nervous systems over messaging. Human connection, people. Face-to-face. Phone call, or hey face-time, if at a distance. Or we can choose to repeat the drama in the next similar situation rather than resolve it now. The choice is always ours. 

Time is Running Out

For those who have hit about 75% of finding peace within their individual issues, it’s time. It’s time to take responsibility. It’s time to stop running away. It’s time to share. It’s time to support. We need you now. Because time is running out.

With all that’s happening in the world, it’s been predicted that we have less than 30 years to turn this entire ship around. Our planet, politics, humanity – it’s all connected.  

There is simply no time left for endless journeys to fix ourselves, sitting in meditation for 30 years, or going on countless psychedelic trips to resolve our “stuff”. All of this continual work is important. But it’s time for action. 

What and how can you share now?

 There are so many ways! Large and small. They can be silent. They can be loud and proud.

            • Shift your career

            • Uphold industry pay standards + hold a pro-bono client

            • Start a true non-profit

            • Visual artists – let’s please tell more stories that matter!

            • Commune – with your loved ones, teams, and tribes

            • Smile at someone today

Even if we did eventually find a state-of-self somewhere near enlightenment, it is guaranteed someone somewhere will ruffle our feathers. When we are faced with situations that trigger us, instead of sitting with what is happening and dropping into heartfelt conversations so that we can repair, resolve, learn and evolve, we itch to run for the hills. And that is ok. This whole human thing is quite the experience. Words and events can be shocking to our systems. This happens when we have not resolved our “stuff”. But it’s ok! Do the work, acknowledge that itch, learn how to sit with what is happening, stay to receive the lesson, integrate it to move past it, repair the situation, resolve and evolve.

We have that prickly experience. We notice. We notice our impulses. We notice our choice of actions. We “woman up”. We “man up”. We learn. We progress. Within progression is where happiness and freedom await.

Initially, yes, we must turn within and begin to pay attention and cultivate an understanding around what is going on and how to handle being uncomfortable in our own skin. It can be terribly difficult to look at our truths. But this is the starting point.

With this newfound revelation, we might feel the urge to blow up our lives. And there is something to be said for that. Running away, quitting a career, divorce - change will happen all right. 

 But as they say, be careful what you wish for…

Taking these actions in a reactive state versus a resolved state usually only creates a ripple effect of more drama. Coming from a more neutral, grounded place, action might look like speaking with a therapist or coach. It might look like adding a daily meditation - and sticking with it. A handful of therapy appointments, a book and a course will not be a lifelong “fix”. There are a zillion opportunities online alone for continual efforts to observe, learn, understand, change, and transmute without destroying the good we already have been so lucky to find. Often, another human being who is already standing right next to us.

Of course, most of the time, even without an epic event. we simply become complacent. Other times, large and small traumas occur, yet we avoid. Fun must be put on pause which is way too inconvenient. So, we quit for what we think will be much more fun, fast and easy. The person next to us who we adore… oops… we forget our good fortune.

It’s not black and white. These scenarios are all overlap. The point is that we must seek. But we also must stay in order to evolve. Otherwise… we get to repeat. 

This path goes on forever. There is no such thing as a perfect life, a perfect wife, nor perfect wave. OK, well maybe a perfect wave. 

But how did we get to catch that perfect wave?!

We stayed out in the water! We didn’t get smacked and run back to the safe haven of the shore. We paddled our hearts out. We were smacked by close outs over and over. We almost drowned. We gulped so much saltwater that we puked. We paddled out again and again until our arms were limp. Then finally, ahhhh, we paddled, popped up, and found the flow. We all know, there is no other feeling like it.  

This is the luxury. We get to choose!

We choose to learn. Or we drop out, numb out (social media, the next muse, Netflix, cocktails, porn, sex, weed, Trump-ing), ghost the person or situation, point the finger, blame, project, and avoid. 

Now it’s easy to stay and avoid simultaneously which will also only lead to difficulties. But really sitting with what is happening, with healthy boundaries, plus tools and techniques to create a learning environment is where we flourish. Ask me.

Seeking is important. Seeking shows we are curious and motivated. At times, this is key. But once we hit about 75% - you guys - we have no time left for this level of self-involvement. There is no such thing as fixing. Perfection does not exist. There is too much work to be done. We all have endless talent to come together, collaborate and find greater ways to share what we have learned and make this planet a better place.

With all due respect, we all need to get over ourselves, drop the drama, and make real shift happen. Commit to those around you. Vow to seek and simultaneously stay with it. Love your people. Ride those waves. Tomorrow could be too late. 

Edited from original post in 2017 on jonimadere.com.